Predestination: it's a big topic of controversy. The Reformed and Arminians each emphasize predestination in varied ways. Why did God predestine? Whom did God predestine? I also explore the very common sentiment, "but, I only want to believe what the Bible says!" That sentiment has historic (and, gulp!, philosophic) roots that those who assert it do not realize. Still more, that "bible and me" sentiment only makes for worse problems. Then, in the cultural-reflection, I remark on the character of the recent Trump conviction. What does history clarify about such trials? What would it feel like if Joe Biden were tried in bright-red Rexburg, Eastern Idaho? But maybe most important of all? I unpack why the Trump conviction matters to the Church. Come think and laugh with me.